Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize