I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You took a bar mat shot.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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