he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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