your room smells of hookers.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry