I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?