Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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