HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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