I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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