He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
