My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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