i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
