Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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