Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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