I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
