I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
