last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
