I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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