is your mom at the bar?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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