how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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