We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
