O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
