Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize