I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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