you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
