I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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