So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
