I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
