he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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