In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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