Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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