I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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