Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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