I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize