I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
