So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
kristin has been a bad kristin
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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