shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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