I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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