He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
