Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
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coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I checked into jail on foursquare
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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