I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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