Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can I color on your dick again?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
