I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize