VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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