he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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