Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
