Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize