you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
