my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize