it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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