sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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