Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
